
The Second Score: Shifting the Focus to Growth at Milton Magic FC
By Ryan Mendonca, Director of Player Development | Milton Magic FC
The final whistle blows and the players, gasping for breath, hunch over on the sun-baked field. Beads of sweat trace paths down flushed faces as every player, parent, and coach alike, turns toward that small corner of the field. It’s almost comical how such a tiny electronic box can command so much attention, but there it is – the scoreboard, its glowing numbers seemingly more powerful than they have any right to be.
It never ceases to amaze me how two simple digits can control our emotions, shape our evaluations, and even influence our self-perception especially when, in reality, we often have so little control over the final outcome. Putting a definitive numerical value on such a beautifully subjective sport as soccer feels a bit like trying to measure the tastiness of your grandma’s secret recipe with a ruler, it just doesn’t quite capture the essence of what’s truly important.
At Milton Magic FC, we believe soccer isn’t just about the numbers on that scoreboard, it’s about fostering lifelong learning and personal growth. As coaches and parents, we play pivotal roles in shaping how young athletes view themselves and their development. That’s where Adam Grant’s application of the “second score” (a concept coined by Sheila Heen) comes into play, and trust me, it’s a game-changer (pun intended).
What’s This “Second Score” Business?
So, what exactly is this “second score”? Well, it’s not the number of times you’ve had to wash grass stains out of white shorts (though that could be a fascinating metric). In simple terms, it’s a shift in focus: instead of obsessing solely over the outcome (the “first score”), we encourage young players to concentrate on how well they respond to challenges, feedback, and setbacks – that’s the “second score.”
This mindset teaches that personal growth isn’t about achieving perfection but about how we respond after a tough game, a missed opportunity, or when receiving constructive feedback. It’s about bouncing back when you’ve accidentally perfected the “face plant” instead of the bicycle kick you were aiming for.

Reframing Feedback: From “First Score” to “Second Score”
In sports, we are used to evaluating performance through goals, wins, or technical assessments—these are the “first scores.” However, focusing too much on these results can make players feel their worth is tied only to their performance, as if they’re nothing more than soccer-playing robots programmed for victory.
Instead, we can ask, “How did you respond?” Did a player bounce back after making a mistake? Did they show resilience after receiving constructive feedback? That’s the “second score”. It’s about celebrating the kid who helps an opponent up after a tackle, or the one who keeps their cool when a referee makes a call that seems to defy the laws of physics (and soccer).
By focusing on the “second score”, we model for players that setbacks are not failures—they’re opportunities to grow. This concept applies not only to athletes but also to coaches and parents. Whether it’s in a high-pressure game or in life, the way we react to moments of frustration, criticism, or struggle matters more than the initial result.
Practical Ways to Embrace the “Second Score” at Milton Magic FC
Here are some strategies to integrate the second score into your child’s development journey, helping them build mental toughness and confidence both on and off the field:
1. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
After a game, instead of asking, “Did you win?” try:
• “How did you respond after that tough call?”
• “What did you do when things weren’t going your way?”
• “That pass you made in the second half was spot on – how did you set that up?”
2. Turn Mistakes into Learning Moments
Instead of dwelling on the goal that didn’t happen, encourage players to reflect:
• “What did you learn from that situation?”
• “What will you try differently next time?”
• “How did it feel to try that new move in a real game?”
3. Teach Self-Reflection for Growth
Encourage young athletes to give themselves a second score:
• “How would you rate your effort after halftime?”
• “How well did you handle feedback from your coach today?”
• “On a scale of ‘couch potato’ to ‘energizer bunny,’ how was your hustle out there?”

4. Parents: Model the “Second Score” Mindset at Home
Children learn from observing us. When parents reflect on their own behaviors, whether it’s how they respond to a tough day at work or a questionable call from the referee, they demonstrate that emotions and growth are part of life. You don’t need to be perfect, just show your kids how to keep trying, even when your “soccer mom” cheer comes out sounding more like a foghorn than encouragement.
Remember, at Milton Magic FC, our vision is to create lifelong soccer experiences that shape the character of our young players. We’re building not just athletes, but resilient, adaptable individuals who can handle life’s curveballs (or, in our case, curling free kicks) with grace and determination.
By embracing the second score, we ensure that players value how they grow rather than attaching their self-worth to fleeting results. It’s about creating an environment where kids feel safe to try, fail, learn, and thrive, all while having fun and maybe inventing a few creative goal celebrations along the way.
So, the next time you’re tempted to fixate on that glowing scoreboard, remember: the real magic happens in the moments between the numbers. It’s in the high-fives after a tough loss, the determination to master that tricky skill, and yes, even in the ability to laugh off that spectacular miss during a breakaway.
Let’s shift the conversation from just outcomes to growth. Together, we can ensure that every child knows their worth isn’t measured by a score, but by how they show up for themselves and their teammates, game after game, season after season.
Join us in embracing the second score, where every stumble is a step toward success, and every challenge is a chance to shine. After all, in the game of life, it’s not just about the goals we score, but the character we build along the way.
#SecondScore #MagicMindset #BeMagic